Tuesday, June 26, 2007
all along i tok tt im very confident w/ myself de but nw is totally diff. m i really ly dis job?? where is the passion i that i use to have?? m i really stressing myself?? or m i too tired??? m i really cannot cope le?? i dunno!!!
nw wrk becuz of wrk. i oso not sure. i oso dunno if i have make a correct desicion or choice to go for this path. i totally losting myself. I am really LOST!!! y m i so so emotional?? the only thing i cry regarding wrk is during jefri times, the 20 litre ice tea tt i nid to carry back fm suntec to funan. the most unfair case i kanna and the CA that i r'd fm jefri, and when i forgot to order O/J, nv check who is wrking on the following morning during his shift and no staff turn up for opening n i nid to cum dwn to wrk and get scolded by him. everything my fault. not i in charge also my fault...
nw i dunno, have been very very emotional. all along i tok it will be okay for me cause jefri this type of mgr i stil survive nw this om shldnt b a problem too. all along i tink i can do it, can make it, things tt my om wan i got do shldnt be a problem, watever thing keep my om inform then shldnt b a problem le. dunno ask shldnt be a problem. all along i dun let myself affect by the rumors abt my om and i believe tt i will learn sumthing fm om. when my ops mgr ask if i wan to go hfc i told him tt too. 1 of the reason i dun wan to go hfc is bcuz to avoid ppl althought i gt st bus to go there. but stil perfer this outlet.
i dunno if im tking things too hard or m i pushing myself or wat. i dunno wat is wrong w me. i dunno m i avoiding my om cuz i find it diff fm i met during my 1st few days of wrk. nw is so called a fear to me to r'd msg or call fm my om. the only tings i always do is cry aft get scolded haha sumtime i dun ly to xpress myself, sumtime i si dunno hw to explain so give up, or dunno my ans is acceptable so give up, or dunno the ans so give up. just listen and not happy also listen. everything ok. not firm in everythings... y u ppl keep thinking that i affect by personal problem so cannot perform? i oso dunno. m i really so useless??? m i really okay at the end of the day i also dunno. i like among the mgr i gt nothing to do ly tt. my scheduling is taking over by my om bcuz my om wan mi to learn n understand until then i will get back my job. other than tt i oso dunno. sumtime the things i do i oso dunno is it wat my om wan. when get scolded then noe lor.
since tt day i get scolded during my attachment at pwp, jus nice my batt flat. i off my phone till the day i go back to wrk then i switch on again. feel very tired of answering calls and msg regarding wrk. because if r'd oso not good news. just wan to off my phone but when go back to wrk get scolded. mgr mus on their phone 24/7 no matter wat. i noe but i dunno if i wan to switch off muz inform. is ly during off, oso will r'd msg fm staff or fm the outlet. and most of the time is not a good one. sumtime already outside, enjoying or watch movie a msg or calls fm outlet make a great diff. bcuz fm my experienance it is always not a not sign and it always affect me and my friens cuz if is regarding schedule i will nid to worry and i stil outside or if i gt timedrive i will go to the outlet i noe to borrow com. to email schedule.
my friens keep on saying i no life, even off oso wrk. since when i so so no life??? i oso cannot rmbr liao. y i bcum ly tt?? y everytime is wrk, erveything is wrk?? m i crazy???
ppl tt i avoid for so long nw wrkin in the same outlet w/ me. how to face dis person i oso dunno. i hate wrking with this person. y must this person kept on saying that i not teng ta, last time at our prev outlet i so teng ta but not nw etc i dunno hw m i going to treat his person. i dunno...
past few wk i was really bother by that case. if ate didnt mention i wld even wan to rmbr it but y she wan to mention to me and let those memories come back to me again. and y da xiong go tell his team abt this thing and even his best frienz, a person that both me and ate noe. y ??!! this is a promise between mi and da xiong, y he tell his team? wat will they think. ate noe cuz she force mi to tell her the story. i told da xiong is becuz i told. da xiong best friend now both of us. but his frienz is closer w/ ate. so his frienz told ate. and ate promise his frienz not to tell any1 esp mi. so which mean da xiong best frienz gt a promise w/ da xiong not to tell and ate promise not to tell any1. n if i go ask da xiong y, he break the promise they will get into trouble. so in the end i the one shou ku. saw da xiong cannot ask. will there b any action taken to tt person, if there is wat will happen to tt person, n who will tk over his place. until nw i still dunno whether i wan to tk any action regard this a not. i dunno....
it got me home
2:57 AM
