Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thanks frienz :)
i suddenly wrote a super long story bcuz hv been holding for quite sum time already.
today ( 27 jun ) when dwn for mgr meeting at 2pm. reach quite early, when i reach my om hv started a bit w/ janet is regarding a training chart guideline for the three mgr. ( mun yeong, janet & me) job summary - asst mgr. all three of us will be doing the same thing but the dateline is based on us ( as individual ) how long we nid to take to fulfill the job. is a long list which divided into 4 parts and into point form. for the 1st and 2nd part we can have our own timeline and we are doing the same things but the 3rd & 4th part is a personal achivement & project. three of us r'd a diff kind of project & achivement. so which means homework nid to be done and fulfill. for the 3rd & 4th part three of us hv the same dateline, in 3 months time, result mus been shown and follow by a "report" apart fm the above mention we still nid to maintain & ensure of the smooth of the operation if not no matter how gd our project is done also no use because operation is not gd and also nid to based on our staff appraisal.
project is to increase the overall sales profit in my outlet. and my personal achievment ... haiz will try. must learn to be sharp and try not to be careless and must be sensitive in things around me, not to be emotional, must be firm, must improve in my ppl relation with co worker and team player.... i give myself 3 wk each to fulfil part 1 ( 15 jul ) & 2 ( 15 aug ). hopefully can fulfil lor.
i think i really nid to fan xin fan xin... nw my two other mgr r in gd terms with my om, they gt things to tok or share but not me. i gt nothing to tok abt or feedback or share. just sit dwn n listen. jus feel bored ba?? maybe i shld say anti social. since when i becum ly this le???
so super, shi min called mi to check on me. freakly speaking im not ok i did told her. aft my meeting i when out with her. we go makan and watch movie. when i saw her she give me a soft toy. can say is my fav character. smiley face with the word dont worry be happy:) i really dunno wat to say. thank u!! i will try. we archer ( dunno hw to spell ) she also catch soft toy and give me haha. 10u 10u:) hope we can go out nxt mth.
a gift fm shi min:)
mi and the smiley & cat
on the way hm tking bus 57
26 jun 2007, tuesday
ydae ( 26 jun ), as usual i try to smile ard le but dunno y my face still black. haiz my om come dwn during her off to do tings dis is wat i noe - stress .... when i tking over the $$ fm the safe, i was counting at the safe area but in the end i end up at the back to the store counting $$ because the area i was using ppl using computer den i move to ice machine that side but i dun wan to stand cuz stomach pain so i move to back office sit dwn on the floor to count n also will not block the way. den started to heard my om voice looking for me. haiz anyway aft i have done i quicking go outside do operation. when my om ard i jus try my best to be sharp or detail on the things that my om might catch. aft my om n the other mgr finish makan they go smoke. aft they came back my om said want to tok to me at 1st we sit dwn de but in the end we go dwn n tok.
usually go dwn n tok is not really a gd thing cuz normally i will cry haha again cry but this time my crying gt part 1 and part 2. finish crying at dwnstair, go back to store the crying mood still there lucky my om not ard. haizz maybe ly wat she say im not sensitive enough on the things or im careless. i really really dun mean to overwrite the outlet chef and using the mgrs to go up. i dun have the intention to do it and i didnt even noe i m doing it. the tone i ask the kit ppl i dun tink is harsh becuz when svc staff i oso tok ly dis de ma. bu shi ma?? i nv hv the intention or wan to use the "unknown' rite to so called command ppl mei you! or mayb i nid to change to way i present myself to ppl. m i really tt bad in ppl relation? i oso hv my bad comment by ppl and neg feedback.
last time during sec iuse to have a very good ppl relation with my prefect de, sec 2 to sec 3 and welfare oso ok de. but slow i think im not equip on those things le, since i grad fm sec & prefectorial. wat i feel is tt i most of the time dun like to interact with ppl anymore. is it i dun care or wat i jus dunno. new comer i jus intro and do wat i nid to do other than that i seldom do interaction liao. dunno wat to tok abt or say abt. sorry to say lor. i oso dunno y. i oso did notice when i with my frienz most of the time i m toking abt wrk n sum catch up. wat happen at wrk gd or not gd etc... with staff i oso didnt really tok to them. dun feel ly toking so much. how lei??? give & take ... y ppl can in front of u treat u gd or when u ask them for feedback they say mei you but behind complain. nw every1 dun ly me, the respect and relationship with ppl is bad super bad... wat kind a mgr i m, such a looser i shld say. aft the tok when i get back to the store i tok i have already cool dwn liao but seeing the ppl im working with i find that whatver i do or say mus be carefull and i oso dunno hw to face dis sitution. i oso nt very prof feeling that my tears is rollong dwn soon i inform another mgr that i when to the ladies. stay in there for ard 1/2hrs i oso nv bring my phone ard. aft thinking i shld be ok i go back for ops but y m.y cum n ask mi if im ok den i cry again this time go back office cry lor. m.y bring sum servittee ( thanks) i tok i ok liao but m.y kept asking mi to go to the ladies to wash my face etc.. i jus go but cry again haiz but aft i go back to store. feelin okok. janet, & m.y left cuz they finish wrk liao. i jus cont my operation lor.
ly i say im lost... still dun hv much ideas to walk out the maze. my style or pattern of wrkin isnt ly that since last time at funan?? is this the way i carry myself since last time or because of sum tings i change my way of carrying myself n i didnt even notice??
it got me home
1:54 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
all along i tok tt im very confident w/ myself de but nw is totally diff. m i really ly dis job?? where is the passion i that i use to have?? m i really stressing myself?? or m i too tired??? m i really cannot cope le?? i dunno!!!
nw wrk becuz of wrk. i oso not sure. i oso dunno if i have make a correct desicion or choice to go for this path. i totally losting myself. I am really LOST!!! y m i so so emotional?? the only thing i cry regarding wrk is during jefri times, the 20 litre ice tea tt i nid to carry back fm suntec to funan. the most unfair case i kanna and the CA that i r'd fm jefri, and when i forgot to order O/J, nv check who is wrking on the following morning during his shift and no staff turn up for opening n i nid to cum dwn to wrk and get scolded by him. everything my fault. not i in charge also my fault...
nw i dunno, have been very very emotional. all along i tok it will be okay for me cause jefri this type of mgr i stil survive nw this om shldnt b a problem too. all along i tink i can do it, can make it, things tt my om wan i got do shldnt be a problem, watever thing keep my om inform then shldnt b a problem le. dunno ask shldnt be a problem. all along i dun let myself affect by the rumors abt my om and i believe tt i will learn sumthing fm om. when my ops mgr ask if i wan to go hfc i told him tt too. 1 of the reason i dun wan to go hfc is bcuz to avoid ppl althought i gt st bus to go there. but stil perfer this outlet.
i dunno if im tking things too hard or m i pushing myself or wat. i dunno wat is wrong w me. i dunno m i avoiding my om cuz i find it diff fm i met during my 1st few days of wrk. nw is so called a fear to me to r'd msg or call fm my om. the only tings i always do is cry aft get scolded haha sumtime i dun ly to xpress myself, sumtime i si dunno hw to explain so give up, or dunno my ans is acceptable so give up, or dunno the ans so give up. just listen and not happy also listen. everything ok. not firm in everythings... y u ppl keep thinking that i affect by personal problem so cannot perform? i oso dunno. m i really so useless??? m i really okay at the end of the day i also dunno. i like among the mgr i gt nothing to do ly tt. my scheduling is taking over by my om bcuz my om wan mi to learn n understand until then i will get back my job. other than tt i oso dunno. sumtime the things i do i oso dunno is it wat my om wan. when get scolded then noe lor.
since tt day i get scolded during my attachment at pwp, jus nice my batt flat. i off my phone till the day i go back to wrk then i switch on again. feel very tired of answering calls and msg regarding wrk. because if r'd oso not good news. just wan to off my phone but when go back to wrk get scolded. mgr mus on their phone 24/7 no matter wat. i noe but i dunno if i wan to switch off muz inform. is ly during off, oso will r'd msg fm staff or fm the outlet. and most of the time is not a good one. sumtime already outside, enjoying or watch movie a msg or calls fm outlet make a great diff. bcuz fm my experienance it is always not a not sign and it always affect me and my friens cuz if is regarding schedule i will nid to worry and i stil outside or if i gt timedrive i will go to the outlet i noe to borrow com. to email schedule.
my friens keep on saying i no life, even off oso wrk. since when i so so no life??? i oso cannot rmbr liao. y i bcum ly tt?? y everytime is wrk, erveything is wrk?? m i crazy???
ppl tt i avoid for so long nw wrkin in the same outlet w/ me. how to face dis person i oso dunno. i hate wrking with this person. y must this person kept on saying that i not teng ta, last time at our prev outlet i so teng ta but not nw etc i dunno hw m i going to treat his person. i dunno...
past few wk i was really bother by that case. if ate didnt mention i wld even wan to rmbr it but y she wan to mention to me and let those memories come back to me again. and y da xiong go tell his team abt this thing and even his best frienz, a person that both me and ate noe. y ??!! this is a promise between mi and da xiong, y he tell his team? wat will they think. ate noe cuz she force mi to tell her the story. i told da xiong is becuz i told. da xiong best friend now both of us. but his frienz is closer w/ ate. so his frienz told ate. and ate promise his frienz not to tell any1 esp mi. so which mean da xiong best frienz gt a promise w/ da xiong not to tell and ate promise not to tell any1. n if i go ask da xiong y, he break the promise they will get into trouble. so in the end i the one shou ku. saw da xiong cannot ask. will there b any action taken to tt person, if there is wat will happen to tt person, n who will tk over his place. until nw i still dunno whether i wan to tk any action regard this a not. i dunno....
it got me home
2:57 AM
